Blessings and Curses

I truly think there is one incident that exemplifies the relationship with my mom. For reason only God understands, mom was fine for the first six months after my birth. This saved me from “radical attachment disorder”. It is a disorder that effects the formation of the brain and for which there is still no good treatment. People with RAD, more often than not, end up in jail by 18 and it only gets worse. That said, at six months, mom slipped into mental illnesses and one night would have killed me if the dog would have allowed her in my room. As an adult, she would apologize to strangers, family and friends for not completing her mission and cursing the world with my very presences. Mind you, there were times when, if I was of use to her, I was the best daughter ever. This was the complex relationship we had and what I struggled with until I was 55 and started therapy.