Exhausted

I have no idea how the veterans are managing. I no longer work in outreach. I am sending prayers. I am still trying to help Puppy Rescue Mission and I am finding myself overwhelmed by thoughts of times I feel l have failed to do to help people at times.

I feel like I checked out with my bio mom before she died. She was so mean and nasty that I pulled back to protect Anna and I. But that pulling back lead her to being lonesome which lead to her suicide attempt and the complications from that lead to her death. It is something I will live with forever.

Oddly, the other incident that comes to mind is being an adult and visiting my parents. A car was on fire in the parking lot and I begged mom to stop so I could run inside the bank and ask them to call for help. She said “Not my problem” and kept driving. I looked at my dad who just shrugged his shoulders. I know now he was afraid of her but it was just another moment when I realized she was a sociopath.

I think most normal people try to help. Tonight, I think that is the best we can do.