When I drive, I get happy excited about quarter horses, pretty cows and passing people on our road. Passing people on our road rarely happens. There are on a few families up here so, I think, it has only happened four of five times in the seven years I live here.
Yesterday, it happened again! And I was excited and forgot to check my reaction with my husband. It upsets him. He accused me of freaking out and, I admit, I lost my temper.
I realized though, the reason I was so upset because with, with my bio mom, every emotion had to be checked. Excitement was “freaking out” and very bad. Being upset, I was mentally ill. Last year, with our roommate, (now gone) I was the one who had problems, I was the one who had to prove something was going on, I was the one who couldn’t deal with it and I was the one who was mentally unstable. I learned, quickly, to reign in my emotions. This was good because I learned to really focus on what I was feeling and I learned, again, to be very careful with words and actions. I am careful with what I share and my tone of voice but, last night, I realized why this had been such a battle with me and I took time to turn it into a lesson to be careful of my emotional state. Share where safe, as it were. What freedom! Share where safe. I love that and it is my new go to for mental health!!!
Joyful Healing, Dogs and Quilts 