When we were talking about the bobbin incident, our house guest commented that I must have responded with anger towards husband when I asked for help. He went on to point out I must have yelled and defended my mistake. I was taken aback a bit because this would have been my response two years ago but, now, I just thanked husband for helping.
I think, for me, depression was anger and exhaustion more than anything else. Until I felt okay about myself, I did lash out. I try hard not to now and, I think, I do a pretty good job.
What makes me sad, though, is that this friend and, at times, husband can’t get past those old behaviors. I have even been accused of being mentally ill if I do react with sadness, anger or concern. (I’m too stupid to be afraid of most things.) I do check my emotions closely with certain people to make sure I appear brave and in total control. If those people could see me for who I am today, it would be so much easier.
I wish they could see my smile, my ridiculous singing and the joy I take with each day. I wish they could forgive but, I guess, some things are unforgettable for some people. Makes me sad.
Joyful Healing, Dogs and Quilts 