depression

Struggling right now. We had looked at buying a house for me. I would have rented it out until I needed it. The sales seems to have fallen through. I am struggling with this If something happens to my husband, I will be homeless. His daughter with inherit the house we live in. My husbandContinue reading “Depression”

Couple of Days

My husband has been more upset with me than normal. Yesterday, he accused of wanting my daughter’s dog dead. The dog is very difficult but I would never wish her dead. It rattled me. My bio mom accused me of wanted her dead at the end of her life. I never wanted anything bad toContinue reading “Couple of Days”

Not Me

I am having heath issues and emotional ones, too. Have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow which is a start. The emotional issues have me stumped. Lots of flashbacks, obsessive worry, anxiety and memory issues. I am going to deal with the physical stuff first and see if that helps. Than I will see whatContinue reading “Not Me”

What upset me today?

Today, pre depression control, would have been profoundly upsetting. Today? Oh well, life happens. And it is a beautiful experience! First, husband had to go get our friend and couldn’t go to town with me. And I had to drive over highway 119, alone. I did it without a hitch. And not a minute ofContinue reading “What upset me today? “

Well, A Booth?

Well, I think we are going to rent a booth in an antique, farmers market kind of place. I was all excited, made Anna and my friend excited (we will go together on it) and tonight I have butterflies. What if I don’t sell anything? What if my depression flares up? February is a toughContinue reading “Well, A Booth?”

Depression

Well, I guess my depression wanted to celebrate national mental health month. I was at the store, a song came on, and I burst into tears. Something about devoted to you. I just thought about my parents. I don’t know what their definition of love was; mom was mentally ill and, after his death, IContinue reading “Depression”

Proud

It is back from the quilter. I can’t believe how the quilter honored my struggle by doing the beautiful silver stars all over it. I’m going to bed and snuggle under it with my dogs. Progress and freedom.

Joyful Quilting?

Not so much today. I keep making mistakes but I’m still sewing on this quilt. In the past, with the depression in play, I would have tossed all of it or put it away, never to see the light of day. Today I just tossed the offense block in the trash and kept sewing.

Dad

My dad will be gone 17 years in the next few days. I have spent most of today in tears. I found a picture of the dog he rescued and gave to me. When Gidds died, it was like I lost dad all over again. I miss him with all my heart and I alwaysContinue reading “Dad”

Memories

I wrote this nine years ago. Happy and sad moment. I went outside and talked to my adopted mom over our gate and made plans for tomorrow. I made me miss my mom or, more likely, the person I wish she had been. When they moved here she told me she wouldn’t live close toContinue reading “Memories”