fears – Joyful Healing, Dogs and Quilts

Booth

Well, one of the ladies in our group may go her own direction and I am so proud of her. She is finding her niche. That said, I’m panicked. I am going to make the leap to a different place. I’m terrible at staging, I’m afraid I will fail and I’m not ready but weContinue reading “Booth”

Body Image

My cousin shared this with me last night. It is the first time I have ever been able to look at pictures without cringing at how ugly and fat I was. My biological mother had eating disorders and gladly shared with me. She restricted my food as a kid and even as a teenager andContinue reading “Body Image”

Survival

Someone asked me the other day how I survived with mom and my answer is simple; my dad’s aunts, Uncle Ben and Aunt Evelyn and my beloved Aunt Dot. Today, though, I was thinking of Uncle Ben. I wasn’t allowed to meet him until I was seven or eight and then we would go outContinue reading “Survival”

Trauma and Decision Making

With the murder of Gabby Petito, I have been thinking about the role trauma has on decision making. With my bio mom, the trauma of her treatment clouded every decision I made up to the day of her death and for six years beyond. Even today, when I thought about her last psychotic break inContinue reading “Trauma and Decision Making”

A Problem

Part of the problem with the trip tomorrow night is that I’m exhausted. The reappearance of the former roommate has rattled me and Husband’s asking if he could do the yard rattled me even more. I am feeling unsettled and not completely safe or secure. I knew husband wouldn’t believe me; even the roommate saidContinue reading “A Problem”

Long Day

Nothing profound tonight. We picked up my sister by love in Cincinnati and are heading home. We were going to stop for food but husband has high requirements and there isn’t anything along the route yet. Honestly, I don’t think we pass anywhere with food. Just hope we find gas. Ohio is looking a littleContinue reading “Long Day”

All Mine

Perhaps, one of the most difficult things about living with someone, whose disabilities get worse by the day, is this. I had to bring groceries in alone (well, Tigger and Teddy supervised), put them away alone and move onto my next tasks alone. My husband is still in bed today and my daughter has goneContinue reading “All Mine”